i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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