Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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