is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
