what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
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I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.