i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.