How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.