Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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(509): View more from Washington

the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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(416): View more from Toronto

"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

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(562): View more from California

He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome

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(616): View more from Michigan

Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Dude that's a hat trick!

(616): View more from Michigan

I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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(904): View more from Florida

...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.

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