We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
