Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
