My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you had me at cake vodka
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
