he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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