Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
