the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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