I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
