I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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