i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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