My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
