return my video game
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't turn off my feet"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
