I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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