Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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