they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
