dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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