I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
