i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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