You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
