We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
