her vagine was all disorganized.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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