Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
