He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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