moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
