Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
