He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize