Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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