Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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