Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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