Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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