Plan B is the new Plan A
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
