He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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