Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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