I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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