drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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