I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
