no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
