I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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