There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
