friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
