By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize