Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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