You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
