who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
