I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
