Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!