I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You smell like stripper and shame
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.