Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
