I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize