I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
