My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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