Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
