omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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