My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i drank out of a bidet.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
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Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices