Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
