I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
