Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
