Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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