i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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