It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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